So Jealous
by special2401
Summary: Coming to Seattle Grace for her internship was supposed to be a fresh start for Meredith Grey. A Clean Slate. But it seems that old habits follow you everywhere they even follow you across the country.
1. Chapter 1: We Didn't Do It

_So I have another fic. This one was orginally written in Chapter form, but divided into different parts. I named the parts and found the names kind of important, so I decided to keep them there. Also, the bold is Meredith's voiceover and they are at the beginning and ending of every chapter. I hope you enjoy! Please review!

* * *

_

Chapter 1: _We Didn't Do It  
_Part 1: _I don't know why_

**Fresh starts. They come in handy a lot. New setting, new job, new people, new life. It was exactly what she needed. She could leave all of the mistakes, doubt, and worries behind. Leave all of the family problems and boy problems behind. Fresh slate. No one would know anything about her. She could be who ever she wanted to be.**

"New around here?"

"You could say that," she said as he filled up the shot glass in front of her. She quickly took it: no salt, no lime.

"Want another?" the bartender asked, holding the Jose Cuervo.

She smiled at him, "Want? Yes. Can? No. I shouldn't even be here. I'm supposed to be at a work thing. I just don't like big social gatherings."

He chuckled a little, "Feel like it would be better if you were a little buzzed?"

"Leaning that way," she answered.

Someone on the other side of the bar caught his attention. He turned back towards her, "I'll check back with you later," he said with a wink before heading over to help his other customers.

She looked down at the shot glass she was still holding, swishing around the small drop still left. She knew she'd have to leave eventually, but she really didn't want to go. Maybe if she waited long enough, she could slip in, make a small appearance, and then slip out again. She didn't want anyone noticing her really, or noticing her relations. She definitely wanted to hold out on that one for as long as she possibly could.

"This seat taken?"

She wrinkled her forehead in surprised confusion as her thoughts were interrupted by a man who had taken the seat she swore had held an overweight woman two seconds ago. "Apparently it is now," she said as she finally placed the shot glass down on the bar, listening

"Joe?" he called out to the bartender.

"Hey, doc. How've you been doing?" Joe asked as he walked back over to the two.

"Working," he answered, "Everything been going good with you?"

"Wonderful. Walter is doing much better," he said with a smile, "Your regular?"

"Thanks," he said as Joe went over to get the drink, "And tell Walter I'm glad he's doing better and next time, I hope to see him under better circumstances."

"So do I," Joe called back before he placed the drink in front of him. He looked back over towards her, "Want another shot?"

She looked down at the empty shot glass that she'd resumed playing with as she watched the small conversation, "No, I should probably get going."

Joe smiled at her, "Well, have a good night. I hope this social thing isn't as horrible as it sounds."

"Me too," she answered before he was called by a table for another round of beers.

"New around here?" the man asked, looking over at her as he sipping his scotch.

"Yes. Apparently you're not," she answered.

"I am actually, I was just on his boyfriend's case. Car accident. It wasn't that bad considering the circumstance," he responded.

"Oh," she offered, as a somewhat not interested sounding response.

"Nathan," he said extending his hand with a flirty smile upon his face.

She was a little surprised. She hadn't been expecting him to introduce himself, let alone continue to talk to her. She looked down at his hand and then back up to his face. Realizing she did have an excuse to get up and leave, she figured being polite wouldn't be that big of a deal.

She allowed a smile to creep upon her face as she took his hand, "Kristin," she said.

"It's nice to meet you, Kristin," he said, the same smile that she just began to really notice.

"Nice to meet you too," she said a little lazily, too caught up in those eyes she'd just spotted to form her words correctly.

"So, you aren't from around here? Where are you from?" he asked.

"New Hampshire," she said, turning back to the bar.

He smiled, his eyes still glued to her, "That's a far way from here."

"Yeah," she said quickly, "You know, like Joe said, I do… I do have that social... thing I have to get to," she said as she stood up and grabbed her purse, allowing her dress to situate itself around her body perfectly. She needed to escape. The familiarity of this situation was too much and it went completely against her fresh start thing.

"A thing?" he asked, slightly amused.

"Yeah, a thing. For work, you know? Stupid, but I have to make an appearance," she rambled as she placed a few bills down on the bar, "Make sure Joe gets that."

"Will do," he answered with a nod.

"Thanks. It was really nice meeting you, Nathan."

He smiled at her again. She was really beginning to wonder why he kept doing that, "You too, Kristin."

With that, she turned around and walked out of the bar. As she turned to the door and the small bell rang, she got one more glimpse of the man. As she expected, he'd been watching her leave. Making herself leave that bar was definitely a step in the direction of a fresh start.

* * *

Chapter 1: _We didn't do it  
_Part 2: _I don't care why_

"Name tags?" she whispered under her breath. This completely ruined her plan. Great way to stay undercover when your well-known name has been displayed for all these people for the last hour while you've been avoiding the situation in a bar. "Great plan," she added for herself as she picked up her nametag, put it on her dress, and covered it with her pull over.

She walked in, purposely staying off to the side, only observing the situation. She recognized some of the renowned surgeons from various articles and conferences, but no one seemed to notice her. Thankfully.

Her eyes scanned the room. She saw a small-catered table, punch at one end. Since it was unfortunately not a college party like she was used to, she was basically guaranteed that it wasn't spiked, but she figured if she told herself it was alcohol, she could make herself feel buzzed just enough to get through this. Mind over matter. Apparently she hadn't had enough tequila at the bar. She should have let that Nathan buy her a few.

Changing her gear of mind, she decided she was here; she needed to make an appearance, so that she could get out as soon as possible. The problem? The appearance involved talking to a man she really wanted to avoid. Unfortunately, her hidden nametag wouldn't keep her identity hidden from him.

* * *

Chapter 1:_ We didn't do it  
_Part 3:_ You'll go down_

She hugged her pull over close around her body, despite the rising temperatures as more people added to the crowd, hoping to keep the mystery as long as she could. She made her way across the room, her eyes landed on her unwanted goal. She had to get over this. She'd see him all the time from now on, but still she didn't want to see him tonight.

As she got closer, he looked up from an older couple, his eyes landing directly on her. His face went from surprised to delight, taking a little bit of pressure off of her. At least this may not be completely painful.

"How are you doing?" he asked enthusiastically, almost completely blowing off the other guests, turning over to her.

She looked around, hoping no one noticed how friendly he was greeting her. She didn't need anyone to think she'd be receiving special treatment. "Good," she answered with her best fake smile, plastered on her face, "How you are you?"

"Great," he answered, shaking her hand, "It's wonderful to see you finally starting your career."

"Yes, it's nice to be out of school," she said uncomfortably.

"Chief?"

They both looked over at the opposite side of the room. She immediately turned back around, wanting to disappear right then and there. The Chief, however, he greeted the man whole heartedly, "Hey Shep, glad you could make it."

"So am I," he answered, shaking his hand, his eyes glued to the woman.

The Chief noticed this and quickly recovered from his lack in manners, "Oh, Derek Shepherd, meet Meredith Grey. She'll be one of Bailey's new interns."

Meredith turned around and met Derek's eyes. He smiled at her, "Meredith, huh?"

"Yeah," she responded, completely embarrassed. She definitely hadn't planned on ever seeing him again, "So it's Derek?"

"Yes, it is."

The Chief looked at the two, "Do you know each other from somewhere?"

"Possibly," Derek answered with a cocky smile still on his face.

"It's nice talking to both of you, but I really have to get going," Meredith said quickly, "I'll see you both at the hospital." She turned on her heel and headed out. Escape and avoidance: two of her specialties.

* * *

Chapter 1: _We didn't do it  
_Part 4: _We didn't do it to be happy_

The busy, loud bar was only background music to her now. She'd taken a few more shots and was getting dangerously close to drunk. Three more shots had been placed in front of her and she was beginning to wonder if drinking them would be a step back into her old life. But right now, her mind didn't want to process that much information, so she took another.

"So you drink before and after awkward social events?"

She hadn't noticed the bell ring when he walked in or the presence he'd made, standing behind her. Unfortunately, she had noticed his voice and his hot breath that seemed to be coming right now on her neck. At his small comment, she'd rolled her eyes, picking up the second shot and downing it, before slamming it back down on the bar.

"You drink with vengeance," he added before sitting down next to her, "So it's Meredith? Or is it still Kristin in bars?"

Meredith looked over at him, "I could ask you the same question."

"What? If my name was Meredith or Kristin? I promise you, it's neither," he said as Joe handed him is regular drink. "So, you're a doctor?"

Meredith sat up a little straighter, suddenly becoming conscious of her slacking demeanor as his eyes gazed upon her. "Yes, I am," she said, trying her best to sound confident, hoping her tone would deceive him from her feelings.

"So am I," he answered.

"So I've heard," she added before ordering herself a draft beer instead of finishing off the tequila shot before her. For some reason, those eyes made her want to stay conscious enough to stare into them all night long.

He took a sip of his scotch and placed it down before looking over at her, "So, what's your story?"

She turned towards him, "My story?"

"There must be a reason you avoid social situations, lie about your name, and drown yourself in tequila."

She took another sip of her beer before placing it close to his scotch, "There must be a reason _you_ avoid social situations, lie about _your_ name, and drown _yourself_ in scotch."

He chuckled a little, "Point taken."

She looked away as she smiled, hoping to not give him any hope. After she regained her composure, she looked back over at him, "No story. I'm just a girl in a bar."

"And I'm just a guy in a bar."

* * *

Chapter 1: _We didn't do it  
_Part 5:_ You think I got my way_

Alarm clocks. Who decided to go and invent them? No one likes them. All they do is end blissful dreams and bring people to their resented daily lives. Who thought they should go and invent something that would piss off an entire society every morning?

"Are you going to turn that off?"

Meredith jumped at the sound of the voice, pulling the sheets with her as she fell off the side of the bed.

"Are you okay?"

"What the hell are you doing in my bed?"

He laughed, "Right now? Nothing. Last night? You."

Meredith pulled herself off the floor, slowly backing away from the bed with the sheet wrapped tightly around her body, "No, this isn't happening. You aren't here. Tell me you aren't here."

"Okay, Meredith. I'm not here," he said with a grin on his face.

She glared at him, mostly for his comfort with the situation. "You have to go. Seriously. I have work in an hour. My first day of work. You have to go, right now. I'm going to go in the shower, but you have to leave."

He pulled himself off the bed and began to find his clothes discarded around the room, "Are you sure you don't want to have anymore fun?"

"Oh, I think I had enough fun," she mumbled under her breath as she looked self-consciously down at her hands.

He laughed, "So you admit it was fun?"

"Seriously, I have to get ready. You have to go," she said quickly, changing the subject. "Okay, yeah, so I'm getting in the shower. Bye…."

"Derek?" he suggested, chuckling that she forgot his name. "Bye Meredith."

"Bye," she mumbled before running into the bathroom.

**Fresh Starts? Maybe they don't work with human nature. Humans form habits they can't break. Some people start to smoke and can't stop, no matter how hard they try. They know it's bad for them and that it could kill them, but it offers them some type of stress relief or in some weird way, fills a void. Some people have that problem with smoking. Some people, well, their addiction issues are elsewhere.**


	2. Chapter 2: Don't Mistake Me

Chapter 2: _Don't mistake me  
_Part 1: _Life can push you_

**The Past. Just like habits, you can't get away from the past. It follows you. Especially if there are people around you from your past. They become a constant reminder of what was, what could have been, and what should have been. They become a reminder of your regrets. The thing is, even if they weren't there, you'd still think of everything from your past. You'd dwell on your mistakes and what you miss. No matter what you do, you can't escape it. The past just follows you everywhere. It becomes you.**

"Thank god."

"Cristina? I'm so glad you're here," Meredith said, hurrying over to her already annoyed best friend.

"This locker room is way too small for Barbie's perkiness," she mumbled as she pulled her scrub top on.

Meredith looked at her strangely as she began to get changed, "Barbie? You're already handing out nicknames?"

"Barbie. She's a model or something. She's so going to drop out within a few days," Cristina said, eyeing to the girl who had a huge smile on her face and was talking excitedly with some other new interns. "Why are you so late? You missed the lecture."

Meredith rolled her eyes, "You don't even want to know."

Cristina laughed, "Hangover? Nice."

"Yeah. Apparently you can't leave old habits on the other side of the country," Meredith said as Cristina headed out of the locker room, Meredith following at her heels. "Any of them," she mumbled under her breath as she saw her most recent mistake on the opposite side of the hallway.

They headed down the hall until they reached whom Meredith now recognized as Barbie and two men, a women walking over to them. Cristina had already figured out this was their group, so Meredith just followed her over there, having no idea what to expect.

"So you all are my new interns?" the women asked, looking them each up and down, "Wonderful," she said sarcastically, before rolling her eyes over to the side of her, "Pagers and handbooks. If someone pages you, answer it. If we wanted you to ignore it, we wouldn't be wasting our time paging you. Understand me?"

The group quickly nodded and shuffled around to gather their items before reforming into their original group. "If you don't know, I'm Dr. Bailey. Don't bother introducing yourself. Trust me, I don't care. The less I know about you all, the better. The less you will get on my nerve, hopefully." She continued rambling on, explaining more information then they could retain that early in the morning while touring the hospital in the most confusing way possible.

Finally returning to their point of origin, Dr. Bailey turned around to face them, her back leaning against the nurse's station, "Rules are rules in this hospital. We respect them. We live by them. We do not disobey them. If you do, not only will the Chief punish you, but also I will personally. Trust me, you don't want me to punish you. I have the power and will to make your internship here a living hell if you test me, so don't. Are we clear?"

All of the interns nodded. "You all will be assigned to attendings for the day, unless assigned to me or the pit. Karev, find Dr. Burke, cardio. Yang, you're with Dr. Torres, ortho. Stevens, find Dr. Shepherd, he's in neuro. O'Malley, you are in the pit. Dr. Jackson is down there. He's a resident, he'll run you through the basics. Grey, since you decided to show up late, you can stick with me all day," she said before turning around and heading down the hall. Noticing the silence, she stopped and turned around. "What the hell are you waiting for? An invitation? GO!" She said before turning back around and heading down the hall, "Grey, you will be monitoring two of my post-op patients and one pre-op. Shouldn't be difficult. If it is, you shouldn't be here."

Meredith took a deep breath. She wasn't sure she could do this on a full night of sleep, but considering her lack of sleep, her hangover, and her complex thoughts, she knew she wouldn't be able to do this right now.

* * *

Chapter 2: _Don't mistake me  
_Part 2: _Leaves you looking for yesterday_

"Morning, Mrs. Felton," Meredith said nervously as she entered her first room. She was getting more and more jealous that everyone else had an attending or at least some type of supervision. She was out here by herself. There was no one to stop her from making a huge mistake. Right now, she really wished she were back in New Hampshire studying for her classes.

"It's Kelley. My Mom is Mrs. Felton," she said with a small smile as Meredith looked over the chart for a few seconds, "She'll probably show up and start throwing millions of questions at you. I thought I'd warn you." Meredith looked up at her and Kelley gave her a small, reassuring smile. "She's really not that bad. Just worried."

"I'd be too if my daughter just underwent serious surgery," Meredith pointed out. "I'm Dr. Grey, by the way."

"New here?" Kelley asked.

Meredith placed the chart down and walked over to Kelley's bed, "Is it that obvious?"

She let out a small laugh, "I've been in a lot of different hospitals lately and apparently new interns start this time of the year and you look scared out of your mind."

"I am," Meredith said quickly before realizing that she was talking to a patient. She shined her small light into Kelley's eyes and continued with a quick examination, "Don't worry, though. You shouldn't be. You're already out of surgery and I'm not doing anything that could cause you damage."

"That's relieving," Kelley answered, partly sarcastically.

Meredith picked the chart back up and looked at Kelley, "We need to get you down to CT and see how that turns out. If everything is good, all you'll have left is physical therapy to rebuild the motion in your arm."

"Great," Kelley answered as Meredith smiled at her, "You have no idea what it's like for part of your body to just stop working. It's like you're perfectly fine and then everything you know is gone. You go from living a perfectly normal life, to be stuck in hospital after hospital. Everything just slips out from under your feet."

* * *

Chapter 2: _Don't mistake me  
_Part 3: _So left with only one thing to say_

Meredith walked over to Bailey as they waited for Kelley's CT to show up. As they waited, Bailey's pager went off. She looked down, "I've got to take this." She looked up at Meredith, somewhat of a glare in her eyes, "When they're done, get her out of there, and then come and find me. Got it?"

"Yes," Meredith said quickly before Bailey hurried out of the room. She turned back to the screen and pulled out the chair for her to sit in. She rested her elbow on the black desk and propped her chin on it as she waited.

"What are you doing?"

Meredith whipped her head around to the door, finding Cristina, "Oh," she said with relief as her friend stepped into the room.

"You actually are doing things?" Cristina asked as she bent over to look at the scan that was coming up, "I thought Bailey put you on babysitting duty."

"So did I," Meredith said honestly.

Neither of them spoke as the screen completely revealed itself and then focused better. "Mer? Do you see that?"

"Yes," Meredith said as she stood up, "I need to get her out of there and go find Bailey."

Cristina watched as Meredith hurried out of the room and then went to get the patient. She looked back at the screen and eyed it closely. Realizing she had her own tasks to complete, she headed out of the room mumbling her only thoughts on the way, "So not fair."

* * *

Chapter 2: _Don't mistake me  
_Part 4: _Don't mistake me for somebody who's hung up on you_

"Could you page Dr. Bailey for me?" Meredith asked as she reached the nurse's station, "I can't find her and it's important."

"She's in the OR. It was an emergency surgery," the nurse replied with a small frown, "Sorry."

"Then what I am I supposed to do?" Meredith asked a little desperate, "I was just getting a CT, but this girl, her surgery wasn't successful."

"You're a new intern aren't you?" she asked, her frown turning into a small smile.

Meredith sighed, "Yes and what a wonderful first day it's been."

"First days are always like that here," she answered, "Now this patient, what department?"

"Neuro," Meredith answered.

"Then you go back to the CT and I'll page an attending from neuro down to you," she said.

"Thank you so much…" Meredith trailed off.

"Grace, It's Grace," the nurse answered with a smile.

"Meredith," Meredith jumped in, "Meredith Grey."

"Well, Dr. Grey, I'll be sure to page him down to you," Grace said as Meredith smiled and headed back to CT.

When she got back in, she looked at the screen while she waited. She didn't know any neuro attendings, but she figured it was good to be well acquainted. As she thought about the situation more, she realized something: this girl was going to need another operation.

"I was paged?"

Meredith turned around and met a familiar pair of eyes. Her own eyes widened as she diverted them from his, "Uh, yeah. This girl just had surgery and I was getting her a CT and there's clotting. Bailey's in surgery, so I was told to page you."

He chuckled as he walked over to her, "That's your story?"

"My story?" she asked.

"Yeah," he answered as he examined the CT, "You're excuse for getting to see me."

Meredith rolled her eyes, "Don't flatter yourself. I wasn't told who was being paged, nor that you worked in neuro."

"Flaw number one in your story," Derek said as he stood up straight again, "I did tell you that, last night."

"Yeah, well, last night…" Meredith stopped herself, "We are at work. Last night was last night. Today is different. Everything is different. Let's just help this girl."

"Oh? So you assume you'll be assisting?" Derek asked as he crossed his arms.

"I-I never-I was just saying-I mean she's my-"

"You're cute when you're nervous," Derek said with a smile before he began walking out of the room and down the hall. He stopped and looked back at Meredith, "You coming? We have a life to save."

* * *

Chapter 2:_ Don't mistake me  
_Part 5: _If you wanna see a broken heart…_

"You think she'll need another surgery?" Derek asked Meredith as he grabbed Kelley's chart at the nurse's station and began jotting things down in it.

"I never said that," Meredith said quickly.

He closed the chart and placed it back before looking at her, "But you were thinking about it." He clicked his pen and placed it in his jacket pocket, "And you were right. She will need another surgery. I didn't perform her first one, but I will perform this one."

"Oh," Meredith said quietly.

"Dr. Grey? Would you like to come with me to inform our patient?" Derek said, redeeming the professional.

"Our patient?" Meredith asked him.

He smiled, "Yes, our patient."

Meredith nodded at him confidently before walking into the room. Kelley gave her a warm greeting and her confidence level immediately fell. This girl was happy. She was happy because she had survived brain surgery when people doubted that she would. But now, Meredith has to tell her that this nightmare isn't over. It's far from over.

Derek watched Meredith as she walked into the patient's room. Her face lit up as she began a light-hearted conversation with the patient that she had apparently already developed a relationship with. As a comfortable silence spread itself, Meredith walked over to the bed. He watched her fiddle her fingers around on the footboard as she slowly explained what was happening.

That patient's face fell as the news was revealed. Meredith's posture slumped before she walked over to the side of the bed and held the girl's hand as she explained everything in a gentle, soothing voice. He could tell that Meredith was giving the girl hope, just by being there and making it personal, not just rambling on in medical talk.

As Meredith turned around to walk out, her face had fallen. Her eyes looked up at Derek and she quickly pulled them away before heading down the hallway. Derek's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She was almost as upset as the patient. She was feeling the patient's pain. As Derek looked back down at the nurse's station and continued to contemplate what Meredith was feeling, he realized something: he didn't even know his patient's name.

* * *

Chapter 2:_ Don't mistake me  
_Part 6: _Try looking in another face_

As his curiosity got the best of him, Derek tried to figure out where Meredith ran off. As he looked around for her, he found Bailey. Hoping that she was her resident, he came up to her, "Dr. Bailey, is Meredith Grey one of your interns?"

"Yes. What did she do?" Bailey asked in a rather annoyed yet unsurprised tone.

Derek shook his head, "She didn't do anything, I was just looking for her."

"Why?"

"She just saved a girl's life. I'm going to let her scrub in," Derek explained.

This, however, did surprise Bailey, but she quickly hid it. "Why didn't you just page her instead of interrupting me? I'm a surgeon. I don't have time to follow other doctors around all day."

Before Derek could respond, Bailey turned around and made her way down the hall. Derek went to go page Meredith when his eyes fell upon an on-call room. He figured it was worth a try, so he headed across the hall.

Once he reached the door, he slowly opened the door and closed it behind him, leaving himself in a dark room. "Meredith?" he asked after hearing something.

The bed shifted quickly as she sat up, "Dr. Shepherd?" she asked oddly, trying to hide her emotions that were slightly obvious.

"Are you alright?" Derek asked as he walked over to her.

She jumped up and flipped the light switch on. She gave him a big smile, "Yeah, I'm just a little tired… you know."

Derek smiled, "Yeah, I know." Her face became a little more uncomfortable before she turned around and reached for the door. "Meredith?"

"Yeah?" she said quietly without turning around.

"Are you okay? I saw you with our patient."

Meredith's posture slummed a little, but she hid her facial expressions before turning around. "Kelley. Kelley Felton. That's her name."

Derek smiled at her again, "Kelley. I'll remember that."

"Yeah," Meredith said, not really believing him, "If you don't need me anymore, I still have to check on one of Bailey's pre-op patients."

"Actually, I was hoping you'd scrub in on this surgery. It's going to be a rather advanced story. As a beginning intern, you'd benefit a lot from seeing it," he said as he walked back over to her.

Her eyes narrowed a little at him, "Look, if you are doing this because we slept together, stop it. That was last night. It doesn't matter anymore. Today is a fresh start for me. Clean slate. You should only base your decisions on what I've done today compared to the other interns. Nothing else."

"You've done something more significant today than some of the older interns have done in their entire life. You saved this girl's life. You deserve this surgery," he explained.

She looked up at him in his eyes, trying to believe his words. "This has nothing to do with sex?"

He smiled at her as he shook his head, "Nothing to do with sex."

Meredith opened the door and walked out, Derek following and then turning in the opposite direction. Before she realized it, Cristina ended up next to her, "That was suspicious."

"What?" Meredith asked looking over at her.

"You and that guy. That's Shepherd, right?" Cristina asked as she dropped a few Cheetos in her mouth.

Meredith was slight annoyed, but tried to ignore it, "Yes, that's Dr. Shepherd."

"You two soooo did it," Cristina said with a mocking tone.

Meredith abruptly stopped, "No. We. Did. Not."

"Defensive?" Cristina asked amused, "Apparently, you did."

Meredith rolled her eyes as she began walking again, "What makes you so certain that I slept with the guy? There are four beds in that on-call room."

Cristina laughed, "You had that look on your face. That denial-of-having-sex look. You always had it college after your one night stands. Especially when you would awkwardly see the guy at a party the next night."

"We aren't in college any more, Cristina," Meredith said as she stopped and hit the elevator button.

"No," Cristina said as she threw her trash away, "But I've known you for a very long time, Meredith. You will never change." The elevator opened and she walked in with a small laugh. Meredith, however, did not find it as funny.

**The past does become you, but maybe it's more that you become it. People expect you to be the same way that you always were. They don't expect you to be better or worse, just the same. Maybe their expectations are like that because people don't change. Maybe people can't change or break habits. Maybe they always will be that way. Without even noticing it, they stay the same. But what if people really can change, they just give up on it before they do?**


	3. Chapter 3: Fallen

Chapter 3:_ Fallen  
_Part 1: _To a long and painful fight_

**Everyone says that there is a type of serenity in the OR. Everything goes away. It's just cut and suture. Save lives. Your mind goes into automatic. You forget about your feelings. Hunger, exhaustion. It all just disappears the second you pick up that scalpel. You have a job to do, so you drop everything else, and just do it. Maybe that's why I become a surgeon. I'd give anything for that kind of serenity.**

"Where are you going?" Cristina asked oddly as Meredith began to get off the elevator.

"The OR," she said like it was an obvious thing.

Cristina followed her out of the elevator, stunned, "The OR? You are going into surgery? Today? Your first day?"

"Yes," Meredith said, trying to hide her smile from Cristina.

Cristina grabbed Meredith's arm and stopped her, "You aren't kidding are you?" Meredith's eyes looked at Cristina as though she was crazy and shook her head. "I hate you. I really hate you."

Meredith rolled her eyes and pulled out of Cristina's grasp, heading to the OR, Cristina following her again. "It's with Shepherd isn't it?"

Meredith nodded her head, not enough bothering to look over at Cristina. She knew that look of disbelief Cristina had all too well. "Yes, it's with Shepherd." Cristina grabbed Meredith again and stopped her a little bit more abruptly this time. "It's because you're sleeping with him, isn't it?"

"I'm not sleeping with him," she said calmly.

Cristina rolled her eyes, "Yes, yes you are."

"Cristina, I can accomplish something without using people to get there," Meredith said before turning down the hallway, "Thanks for the vote of confidence though," she called back sarcastically, "I'll remember that."

* * *

Chapter 3: _Fallen  
_Part 2: _Truth be told I've tried my best_

"Welcome to the scrub room for the first time," Derek said as Meredith walked in.

"I've been in a scrub room before," Meredith said as she tied a mask around her neck.

Derek turned on the water and looked back at Meredith, "Not as a surgeon."

She smiled, "That's true."

As Derek finished washing his hands, he turned off the water and looked at Meredith, "It's going to be a long and complicated surgery. You ready for this?"

"Are you questioning my ability?" she asked, slightly offended.

"No," Derek said quickly, "I'm just saying. Most interns don't get on surgeries like this right away for a reason."

She turned off her own water and turned to him, "Nothing to do with sex?" she asked eyeing him.

He chuckled and walked over to the door to the OR, "Nothing to do with sex." He pushed open the door and looked at Meredith, "After you, Dr. Grey."

She smiled and walked past him into the OR. As soon as she got her gloves on, she reminded herself of a few things. First of all, he was her boss. Totally off limits. Second of all, this was her fresh start. She could not waste it on some guy. Not again.

* * *

Chapter 3:_ Fallen  
_Part 3:_ I got caught up in all there was to offer_

"It's a beautiful day to save lives, let's get started," Derek said, winking over at Meredith as his gloves were placed on.

Meredith self-consciously looked around, hoping that no one noticed his gesture. Once convinced that no one saw, she placed her eyes back to the screen, displaying the brain. She was kind of mad that her angle prevented her from actually seeing it, but it was her first day as an intern. What could she expect? She really shouldn't even be in here, so she should just be grateful.

"We've exposed the dura mater. What's next, Dr. Grey?"

Meredith's head shot up from the screen over to Derek. She took a few seconds to register his question before spitting out the answer, "Open and fold back the dura mater to expose the brain. Then use retractors to gently open the corridor between the brain and the skull." It was a simple question with a basic answer, but Meredith was still a little honored that he'd asked her and not one of the more experienced doctors with them.

Derek took a few minutes to follow the next few steps of the operation before speaking again, "And what will we do before placing the clip?"

"Get control of the blood flow," Meredith spit out quickly as she looked up to the gallery. Cristina's jaw was practically on the floor. A small smirk grew on Meredith's face, enjoying the jealously Cristina was feeling right now.

"What are we trying to avoid?"

Meredith felt like he was quizzing her pointlessly, but she made sure that he had no reason to fail her. "Be careful of it rupturing, which would only cause more hemorrhaging, especially in the dome. If it does rupture, a temporary clip can be placed across the parent artery to stop the bleeding before the surgery continues." She added a little bit of extra information, guessing what his next question would be.

"Good job, Dr. Grey," Derek said approvingly. "Now, come over here for a second. I want you to take a look at this."

Meredith didn't move at first, stunned at his request. He actually wanted a brand new intern at the table during a risky operation? Isn't that a little crazy?

"Dr. Grey?" Derek asked, tearing his eyes from the brain to look up at her. Meredith pushed herself into action and walked over to the table. "Over here," Derek added as Meredith hesitated, but then walked over next to him. "We have vascular control. What should we check for?"

"Connective tissue," Meredith answered, her eyes mesmerized by the brain.

"Exactly," Derek said, "Take this," Derek said. Meredith looked at him questioningly, but he just smiled at her under his mask. She took a step closer to him and took the tool from his hands. "We have to isolate it from the other structures, correct?" Meredith nodded; a little shocked at the fact that she was about to actually take part in this surgery. "Do you know what you are doing?" Derek asked, a little chuckle in his voice. Meredith nodded again as she performed the small action, the entire thing still seeming surreal to her. "Good job, Grey."

Meredith stepped away from the table, handing the tool back to one of the nurses, satisfied with her performance. Derek took another tool and stepped closer to the table, looking at Meredith to do the same. "This is a little more complex," he explained, "Let me help you."

Meredith looked at him, confused. If he let her do this, she would actually be performing the most important part of the surgery. It'd be like she was performing surgery as a second or third year intern would. "Come on, Grey," he insisted as she took grasp of the ready tool.

* * *

Chapter 3:_Fallen  
_Part 3: _We all begin with good intent_

After Meredith took the tool, he wrapped his hand around hers and guided her to the brain. After finding the direct place of the aneurysm, Derek looked up at her, "Ready to release the clip?"

Meredith nodded and did as she had learned. "It's not going to hold," Meredith said as she met Derek's eyes.

Derek smiled at her, forgetting that she couldn't see, "I'm impressed, Grey. What would you suggest?"

"It's not that big of a problem. Just add another clip or maybe two others, depending on the grip the second one gets," Meredith explained, seeing the smile solely through his eyes.

"You're smart for an intern," Derek said as the second clip was handed to him ready.

"Thank you," she said oddly, not really sure how much of a compliment that was,

"Okay," Derek said as he gripped his hand around Meredith's again. His other hand naturally found it's way to Meredith's back. Meredith was surprised by his touch, but refused to let it be known. "Shit," Derek muttered as the clip slipped.

"It's fine," Meredith said, before she realized that she was heading dangerously close to bossing around her boss in the OR. She gripped it again more carefully, and successfully released it properly. Derek let go of her hand as she examined the clip, "There's no need for another one. This one has a good hold," she said as she handed the tool back to the scrub nurse.

She looked over at Derek who was slightly surprised at her, "Let's close up and bring her back," he said as he took another tool and began to close Kelley's skull flap.

* * *

Chapter 3: _Fallen  
_Part 4: _Love was raw and young_

"You did good in there, Grey," Derek said as he stepped into the scrub room where Meredith already was washing her hands.

"Thanks," she said quickly as he ripped off his gloves, "I'm sorry that I kind of stepped over the boundary at the end."

"You did fine," he said as he pushed the water on.

Meredith stopped washing her hands and looked over at him, "I should have just did what you said and stopped, I went over the line. I'm really sorry."

"Meredith," Derek said, stopping her. "You did fine. You were right. That wasn't going to hold and we didn't need a third one either. You did everything fine."

"Really?" Meredith asked.

"Yes," Derek said as he grabbed some paper towels and handed them over to her before getting his own, "I would tell you that you are going to be a wonderful surgeon one day, but," he stopped for a second as he threw the paper towels away, as Meredith became a little worried. He looked back over at her and smiled, "But you already are."

He gave held her gaze for another second before pulling the door open and walking out of the scrub room. Meredith didn't move. She felt like she was on a high. She just wasn't sure whether it was because of the surgery or because of that look he insisted on giving her before he left.

**Maybe you can't completely get away from everything. Some things slip through, despite all the serenity in the OR. It's ironic to think of the OR as a serene place, isn't it? People die in the OR everyday after dramatic attempts of resuscitation. How is that serene at all? Yet still, things seem to escape from a surgeon's mind when they are focused on the detailed steps of a surgery or trying their hardest to save an innocent soul. Plans, vows, promises, these things slip away. Feelings? Those things tend to stay.**


	4. Chapter 4: Love Soon

Chapter 4:_ Love Soon  
_Part 1:_ I read your complaint_

**Interns are forced to learn things quickly. Not only the medical stuff, but also the way the hospital works. They have to learn about respect for their Superiors. After all, they are their subordinates. If they don't do what their bosses ask, or order rather, than they will learn very quickly that they aren't going to make it. They have to learn that they aren't in control. They want to be, but they are as far from it as they ever have been in their life.**

"You like performed that surgery. You haven't even performed something like that on a cadaver before. Why would he trust you to do something like that?" Cristina asked, still trying to sort this whole thing out.

"Why does it matter?" Meredith asked annoyed, "Its our first day off. Let's enjoy it and not talk about work."

"Fine," Cristina said, being surprisingly cooperative. "Let's talk about boys. One specifically. You know, the one who has been watching you."

"What?" Meredith asked as she whipped her head around her, looking around the small restaurant, "No one is watching me."

"Not here," Cristina said quickly, "At the hospital."

Meredith rolled her eyes, finally following Cristina's train of thought, "Oh, give it up. Shepherd isn't watching me and we aren't having sex."

"If you aren't, then he sooo wants to," Cristina answered with an amused laugh in her voice.

"Shut up," Meredith said quickly, "That won't happen. Never. He's my boss. That's just weird. Never. Never ever."

"You are rambling," Cristina commented, "You are soo doing him."

"I'm not doing anyone. I'm trying to enjoy the only lunch that I've had in a week that hasn't been at the hospital. Now enjoy yours or I'm making you pay for all of it," Meredith hissed.

"Feisty, aren't we? Just admit it."

"Fine," Meredith said as she slumped back in her chair, "Once. Once. Only once. Never again. Okay? Happy?"

"You actually had sex with him?" Cristina asked, amused and surprised, "Geez. I start to think you are boring, but then you rise."

Meredith rolled her eyes, "Shut up."

"That's what the surgery was about?"

"You refuse to think I actually earned that, don't you?" Meredith asked as she picked at her French fries a little.

"I didn't get surgery. You got surgery and I didn't. How is that fair? We've been working for a week and I still haven't gotten in on any other surgeries," Cristina said as she crossed her arms, stubbornly.

Meredith sipped her drink and watched Cristina, slightly amused, "Just so you know, I haven't gotten in on any other surgeries either."

"Yeah, well, you haven't been working with Dr. McDreamy anymore either."

* * *

Chapter 4:_ Love Soon  
_Part 2:_ There's something taking over_

"Tired?"

Meredith jumped a little at his voice, causing a drop or two of coffee to fall out of the Styrofoam cup she was holding. "Thanks," she said sarcastically as she tried to wipe the brown liquid off of her scrubs.

"Let me help you," Derek said as he grabbed a napkin off the coffee cart and walked over to her.

"No," she said quickly as she stopped him, "That is way too close to my chest. Do not get any ideas."

"I wasn't- I was just trying to help," Derek said quickly.

She smiled at him, "You're cute when you're embarrassed," she commented as she took the napkins from him and wiped the spot just below her chest.

Derek recovered and put on his charm. He smiled at her, "So you think I'm cute?"

Meredith gave up on the coffee spot and looked up at him, "You are soo full of yourself."

"Well, I think you're kind of cute too," he said with a wink.

Meredith threw the napkins in the trash and looked at him, "Kind of? What kind of compliment is that?"

"Who said anything about a compliment?" Derek asked with a smirk. "So who are you working with today?"

"I'm in the pit," Meredith answered, "Well, I was heading down there until you caused a coffee spill."

"It's not my fault you are so jumpy," Derek said innocently.

"Uh-huh," Meredith answered unconvinced as she began to walk down the hallway.

"Take this," Derek said as he handed her a chart, following her down the hallway.

Meredith stopped and looked at him, "What's this?"

"This, Dr. Grey, is a chart. One is made for every patient we have. The doctors use-"

"Shut up," Meredith said cutting him off, "You think you're amusing don't you?" she asked in response to his smirk.

"Of course I do, but I'm pretty sure you do too."

"This huge of an ego? So not good for your health," Meredith answered rolling her eyes, "Now this chart? Why are you giving it to me?"

"You are an intern aren't you?" Derek asked receiving a nod from Meredith, "Well I need an intern on this case and you aren't working with another attending today. Works out perfectly." He smiled at her annoyed look before heading down the hallway, her at his side.

* * *

Chapter 4: _Love Soon  
_Part 3: _You can cross the line whenever you want to_

"So where is this case?" Meredith asked as they walked into the elevator.

"3126," he answered as his pager went off. He looked down at it and then back up at her, "I'm going to go check on this. I'll meet you up there, okay?"

"Okay," she answered as the elevator doors opened.

Derek stepped out and looked back at her, "Don't run off anywhere. I'll be there in five minutes."

"Okay," she said again, wondering why he was acting strangely.

Derek headed down the hallway and found another intern that was working on one of his other cases. "Yes, Dr. Kendall?"

"I need you to sign these discharge papers, for Mr. Yeatts in 415," the doctor answered, handing Derek a chart.

Derek pulled out his pen as he read over a few things. After a few seconds, he signed his name quickly, placing the pen back in his pocket and handed her the chart. "Remind him to stay off of roofs," Derek joked before heading back to the elevator.

He went up one floor, a smirk spreading on his face. He headed down the hall to the room that he told Meredith to meet him in. He walked in and shut the door behind him.

She looked over at him; her arms crossed against her chest, "Room 3126, huh?" she asked. He nodded slightly, trying to keep the smirk to himself. She looked over at the chart sitting on the empty bed, "Patient Jackie Malonez, 17. She was knocked unconscious at a high school softball game. She woke up, but her parents brought her here as a precaution. CTs were done and she was cleared. They discharged her four days ago," Meredith said in an irritated tone as she inched closer to Derek from across the room.

"So you do know what a chart is and how to use it?" Derek asked sarcastically as she headed near him.

"Yes, I do actually," Meredith answered, "I also know that discharged means that they are no longer patients here. Meaning they no longer need the assistance of an intern and a neurosurgeon. I'd expect you to know that, Dr. Shepherd."

"My mistake," he said as Meredith finally stopped inches in front of him.

"You know," she said as she looked him directly in the eyes, "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to get me alone."

"Really?" he asked quietly, his voice being caught in his throat as he felt Meredith's breath against him.

"Yes," she answered.

Derek looked around the room quickly and then back at her, "That's not at all what I was doing," he said, trying to choose his words carefully.

"Oh," she answered, "Too bad." Before Derek could react, she walked past him and out of the exam room.

* * *

Chapter 4: _Love Soon  
_Part 4: _And all of your friends don't know who I am_

"Oh god, you're happy," Cristina said in an annoyed voice as Meredith joined the rest of Bailey's interns at a lunch table.

"What?" Meredith asked innocently.

"You look happy," she said disgusted.

"What's wrong with being happy?" a blonde asked, "It's better to be happy than to be… well… you," she finished hesitantly.

"Shut up, Barbie," Cristina snapped.

"Her name is Izzie," one of the men piped in, "Not Barbie, Izzie."

"Yeah," Cristina said sarcastically, "And your name isn't Bambi."

"It isn't! My name is George! George O'Malley!" he exclaimed.

Meredith looked at them strangely, apparently she'd been missing out on a few things lately. "Why are you happy?" Cristina asked quickly.

"I'm not any happier than usual," Meredith said as she ate a bite of her salad, "I really don't know what you are talking about."

"Liar," Cristina said quickly, "You were with McDreamy weren't you?

"McDreamy?" Izzie asked puzzled, "Oh.. OH! There's a McDreamy?"

Meredith rolled her eyes, "There is no McDreamy. Drop it."

"Oh, there so is," Cristina stated.

Meredith narrowed her eyes, "You know, I'm really beginning to wonder why we've been friends for eight years."

"Tell me about this McDreamy," Izzie said excitedly.

"There is not a McDreamy!" Meredith said, getting seriously annoyed.

"Okay, fine," Izzie said defeated, "There is no McDreamy."

"Thank you," Meredith said, sounding relieved.

"Grey? Where the hell have you been? You haven't been in the pit yet!" Bailey scorned as she reached them, "Where the hell have you been?"

"Dr. Shepherd needed an intern," Meredith explained quickly, "He ran into me and gave me a case."

"I decide where you work, understood? Unless he was roaming around in the pit, you weren't where you were supposed to be! Next time, be there," she lectured. "Stevens? You're in the pit."

"But, I'm-"

"GO!" Bailey yelled as she walked off, "Stupid interns… stupid attendings. They're all stupid."

* * *

Chapter 4: _Love Soon  
_Part 5: _Close your mind and waste some time if you have to_

Meredith looked at her watch. She had one more hour. That was if her little 'punishment' from Dr. Bailey was over with, anyways. Sighing, she picked back up one of her pit patient's charts and began recording the simple treatment.

"Having fun?"

She looked back and then rolled her eyes in annoyance before getting back to her chart. He walked over to her and leaned over her shoulder, looking at what she was doing, "Seven year old? That must suck."

She abruptly shut the chart and placed it on the shelf along with the others before grabbing her last patient's and reviewing it. "Ignoring me, are you? That's not very nice."

"Yeah, well, you got me in trouble, so I don't care," she said, hiding her small smile as she wrote down a few changes.

Derek looked offended, "Me? How did I get you in trouble? I didn't do a thing."

"Actually, you did three things," she said, placing the last finished chart away.

Derek followed her as she made her way down the hallway, "Three? I don't remember a single one."

"One, you spilt coffee on me. Two-"

"I didn't spill coffee on you," Derek said, cutting her off. "You spilt coffee on yourself. You're a little jumpy in the mornings."

"Okay, fine, you caused my coffee to spill. Two, you tried to seduce me," she said, turning the corner.

"I didn't do that either. I just gave you a patient," Derek said, hiding his smirk.

Her slightly annoyed look had yet to disappear, but was accompanied by a tiny smile, "Correction, you gave me a fake patient and you had dishonorable intentions for that exam room. And for the third thing you did, you got me in trouble with Bailey."

"Nope, didn't do that either," Derek said innocently.

Meredith smiled, still trying to hide it from Derek as she reached the elevator, "Well, aren't you Mr. Innocent?"

She pressed the down button and Derek stood next to her, waiting for the doors to open as his smile grew. He leaned a little closer to her, making sure only she could hear, "Actually, Dr. Grey, as you already know, I'm not all that innocent."

* * *

Chapter 4:_ Love Soon  
_Part 6: _Let's bypass the bullshit_

"Don't you just love elevators? I love elevators," Derek said as he looked over his shoulder at Meredith's annoyed face. "What?" he asked, pretending to not know what she was annoyed at.

"You sound like you're five," she answered.

He turned around and smiled at her, "So, you like children?"

"That's sick," she said glaring at him.

"I wasn't suggesting that! You have a very twisted mind, Meredith Grey."

She raised her eyebrow at him, "Still being Mr. Innocent?"

"Only if Mr. Innocent gets to take you out for dinner," he said smoothly, knowing he'd been waiting to do that all night.

"I'm not dating you," she said quickly, "That was a one time lapse in judgment."

"One that lasted all night," he said cockily.

"Seriously," she said as the elevator door opened. She walked out of the elevator and looked back at him, "Never again."

"You say that now," he said with a smirk as the elevator doors closed.

* * *

Chapter 4:_ Love Soon  
_Part 7: _The minute hand moves faster than you think it does_

Meredith walked in, silently groaning at the full bar. She made her way over to one of the few open booths near the back and sat down heavily. She began playing with some bar nuts until Joe came over to see her.

"Rough day?" he asked, "Or just avoiding another odd social gathering?"

She chuckled a little at him, "No, it was a rough day. Dr. Shepherd got me in trouble with my resident. I didn't even do anything and now I'm stuck in the pit with whiny kids and superficial wounds. There's no point in being a surgeon down there. It sucks and I'm there for the rest of the week," she said in an annoyed and tired voice.

"Sounds tough," he said with a small sympathetic smile, "Tequila?"

"Of course," she said with a small smile before he walked away.

As Joe walked away, Meredith's cell phone rang. She thought for a moment about just ignoring it, but she answered it anyways. "Hello?"

"Mer, get down here. They're doing this crazy surgery. I can't believe I'm actually watching this. Seriously, you need to get down here. Forget whatever you're doing."

"No," Meredith said simply.

"What?" Cristina asked in a confused voice.

"I just got out of the hospital and I'm dead tired. I'm getting a drink and then I'm going to sleep until five minutes before I have to be at the hospital," she said as Joe dropped off three shots of tequila: no salt, no lime, just the way she liked it.

"Whatever," Cristina said, "You are seriously going to regret missing this."

Meredith dropped her phone after hearing the click on the other line. She picked the first shot up and drank it instantly. After finishing off her third, she got up and went to the bathroom.

"Watch my stuff for a second, okay?" she said to Joe as she walked past the bar. He nodded at her as she walked into the bathroom.

Once she was done, she walked back out and over to her booth. She stopped in front of it, glaring at him. "What are you doing here?" she tried to convey anger, but the only tone that came out was a mix of exhaustion and annoyance.

"Me? I'm just sitting here. You know, you really shouldn't leave your purse just lying around like that. Someone could take it," he said as she plopped down across from him.

"Joe was watching my stuff," she said, "Now that doesn't answer my question. What are you doing here?"

"Actually, I did answer that question," he said before taking a sip of his drink, "Moving on. Now what are you doing here?"

"I'm getting a drink," she answered.

"Really? Surprise, surprise, so am I. I guess I'll just stick around here with you," he said with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes at him and leaned back in the booth, "I'm going to seriously need more tequila."

* * *

Chapter 4:_ Love Soon  
_Part 8:_ It's not about you now; it's what we are_

"You're laughing," Derek commented as Meredith's laugh sounded through the air, "That's a good sign. I must be doing something right."

She blushed a little and stirred her straw around the soda that Derek had convinced her into ordering after her sixth shot of tequila, "Don't get too ahead of yourself."

"You're smiling as well."

"Shut up," she said as she blushed a little, "I'm drunk, you can't use what I do when am drunk as signals. It doesn't work that way."

"You're not drunk. You stopped drinking alcohol two hours ago," he said as he leaned a little closer to her across the table.

"We've really been here that long?" she asked, almost a little embarrassed.

"It's getting late," Derek said as she responded to his movement by leaning in as well, "I think we should get out of here," he said quietly.

"I guess I should be getting home. I have work tomorrow," she said.

He smiled a little at her, "You know that's not what I was thinking."

"What are you talking about? You're Mr. Innocent," she said sarcastically as he leaned back away from her.

He set his glass back on the table and got out of the booth, Meredith watching him the entire time. He grabbed his leather jacket and slowly put it on. He placed a few bills on the table before looking at Meredith. He gave her his hand and gently pulled her out of the booth.

As she planted her feet, she looked up at him, realizing how close they were. Their intertwined hands fell down beside them, never letting go of each other's. She searched his eyes for something and all she could find was that smile that could mean so many things.

She tore her gaze away from him and pulled her hand out of his grasp as she leaned back into the booth to grab her purse. As she turned around, she felt Derek's hand against her arm. She looked back up to him, but he caught her by surprise with his kiss.

**Interns have no control. They barely have any control of their careers. Their lives are practically in others hands, yet lives are in theirs as well. That's the way it is for every Doctor. But the thing is, those lives aren't just their patients. Every life we touch, we affect. We aren't in control of anything. Not our careers, or our relationships, but above all, we have no control over our feelings.**


	5. Chapter 5: Extra Ordinary

Chapter 5: _Extra Ordinary  
_Part 1: _I got a little bit of hope_

**When you're little, you get into the stupidest fights with your friends over who the crayon belongs to. And when the teacher finds out what is happening, you tell her that "She was being a big fat meanie!" And the teacher will always say that if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all. The funny thing is, no one listens to those words. It may seem like they do, but all they really care about is getting their crayons back. Who cares if they say things that hurt that big fat meanie in the process?**

"Were you at the bar last night?"

"No! What did I miss?" she asked excitedly.

"Dr. Shepherd was there," her friend answered.

"He is so hot. Did you talk to him? You totally should have said something."

"I couldn't," her friend answered quickly, "He wasn't alone."

"What? That guy has rejected every woman in that bar and at this hospital. Who in the world was he with?"

"Some new intern," her friend said rolling her eyes. "Total slut. She was drunk before he ever got there. Straight tequila. Then she spent the entire night flirting with him and then took him home."

"She took him home! Lucky," she answered,

"It's not fair. She's not even that pretty. And she is way too young for him. She's probably like twenty-eight or something. That's crazy. She was acting so stupid last night. I have no idea what he sees in her," her friend ranted.

"Any idea who it is?"

"She's one of Bailey's," her friend answered, "Light brown hair, stick thin."

"Dr. Grey. I had to work with her the other day. I don't know what he sees in her either," she answered, "He must have been totally wasted."

Meredith slammed her locker shut and walked past the girls, making a point to glare at them before leaving the locker room to find Dr. Bailey. As she headed down the hall, she came across a smiling Derek.

* * *

Chapter 5: _Extra Ordinary_  
Part 2: _Falling fast_

"Last night, last night was fun," Derek said as Meredith walked up to him.

He handed her a coffee and she only glared at him, "You have dirty is your eyes."

He smiled at her before noticing something out the corner of his eye, "Why are there fourth year residents staring at us?"

Meredith turned around and then quickly looked back at Derek, "Oh, yeah, I forgot," she said before walking away.

Derek chased after her immediately, "Wait, forgot? Forgot what?"

"I'm mad at you," she said simply as she continued to walk.

"Mad? I didn't do anything," he said quickly, "Okay, well, yeah I did do _something_, but anger usually isn't what comes from that. Actually, its usually the exact opposite."

"Stop it."

"Stop what? You're the one mad at me for no reason," Derek said, enjoying their conversation.

"Stop talking about sex."

"You know you like it," he teased before she turned down another hall.

* * *

Chapter 5: _Extra Ordinary  
_Part 3: _Listen to the neighbors_

"Grey, since you decided to show up late, you can go find a case in the pit," Bailey said as Meredith walked up to the slowly dispersing group.

Cristina laughed a little at Meredith, but she just rolled her eyes in response, "What's the difference? I was going to be in the pit again anyways. Derek keeps getting me in trouble. I'm seriously going to kill him."

"So, now he's Derek?" Cristina asked, slightly amused.

"Shut up," Meredith said before walking in to the ER. Immediately she noticed how empty it was. Although technically, an empty ER should be considered a good thing to anyone with a normal mindset, it sucked for any doctor who was working there. It meant the day was going to be exhaustingly slow.

"Dr. Grey?" Meredith looked up to one of the nurses, "We have a break coming in from a clinic. Feel like working in ortho?"

"Sure," Meredith said less than enthused. She didn't really have anything against orthopedics; she just didn't get the rush that she did in any other field.

"So, I heard you're dating someone," the nurse continued.

Meredith looked at her strangely, "Excuse me?"

"Might just be talk, but that's what I heard. You know, this hospital is known for its gossip. Well, not really, but everyone in the hospital knows about it," she rambled on a bit before stopping, "I was just wondering, any truth do this?"

Meredith was a little dumbfounded. She hadn't even been at work for two hours and this was the third person talking about it. "Look, you don't know me. I don't even think you know my first name. I'm just a doctor who happened to be in the pit today. That gives you no right to bud into my personal life, whether that statement would be true or not. My personal life has nothing to do with neither this hospital nor anyone in it, unless I chose for them to be. So, please, get a life and stay out of mine."

The nurse stared in pure amazement as Meredith walked away, completely fuming.

* * *

Chapter 5:_ Extra Ordinary  
_Part 4: _Ain't love such a sweet thang?_

"Okay sleeping with him again was seriously the worst choice I've ever made," Meredith said as she opened her water bottle and drank some.

"He who?" Izzie asked as she stabbed into her salad.

"McDreamy," Cristina chimed in, "Why did you sleep with him again? I thought that was a 'never ever again' thing."

Meredith sighed, "I don't know. He was just, well, there and saying all those sweet things and there was tequila and then he kissed me and…"

"Meredith, you are rambling. Shut up," Cristina said flatly. "I told you that you would sleep with him again. It was painfully obvious."

"It was not," Meredith said stubbornly.

"So, who is this McDreamy?" Izzie asked with her eyebrows slightly raised as she leaned into the table, obviously interested, "Does he work here or something?"

"Yes."

"Cristina!" Meredith hissed, not wanting anyone else to know.

Cristina just rolled her eyes as she sat back in the black iron chair, "It's obvious anyways. Half this hospital is talking about it."

"So! That doesn't mean the other half has to know!"

Cristina chuckled a little, "Why are you so uptight about this? At Dartmouth, everyone knew whom you were sleeping with all the time. What's so different about it now?"

"Because," Meredith said as she stabbed her fork into her mediocre salad, "It's different now. That was college. This is the real thing. People need to respect me here. It's a fresh start. I don't need to become the hospital slut."

"Yet, it's already happening," Cristina responded as she eyed the few people who were staring at them and whispering.

* * *

Chapter 5:_ Extra Ordinary  
_Part 5: _All I wanna do_

"You're Meredith Grey, right?"

Meredith turned around and looked at the short blonde, "Yes, and you are?" she asked, eyeing her. Meredith was already beyond pissed and annoyed and stupid blondes didn't help.

"Melanie Hansen," she said with a dorky smile that made Meredith hold in a laughing face.

"Did you need something?" Meredith asked, telling herself that she was actually trying not to be rude, despite the way her words were sounding.

"I just had a question," she said, her dorky smile still apparent.

Meredith waited a second before saying anything, "And your question would be?" she asked, wondering how this ditz made it through med school.

"Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but what did you do?" she asked, a serious look on her face.

Meredith looked at her strangely, "Do? I don't know what you're talking about."

"It's just that," she began, seeming as though she was searching for words, "I mean, everyone, I mean really everyone, has tried, but you get to bring him home? How is that fair? I mean, what did you do? Pay him?"

Meredith didn't say anything at first, but as the rage built up inside of her, her facial expression changed and the words came together in her mind. She stepped closer to the ditz and was about to open her mouth when she felt two firm hands on her arms, restraining her and pulling her in the opposite direction. The last thing she saw was Melanie's confused and embarrassed expression.

* * *

Chapter 5:_ Extra Ordinary  
_Part 6: _You're extraordinary_

"Let go of me," Meredith huffed, not having to look back to see who had pulled her out of that situation.

"Hold on," he said before pulling her into an on-call room. "There, now you are free," he said as he released her and then locked the door.

"Why did you just lock that door?" Meredith asked as she crossed her arms disapprovingly.

Derek looked back up at her a smiled, "So that you don't go back out there and kill that girl with your tiny ineffectual fists."

"You have alternative motives," she said as he stepped closer to her, ending the space between them.

"None whatsoever. I'm a Doctor. I have to be concerned for the well-being of others, and if I hadn't moved you, you would have taken that girl right then."

Meredith sighed and let her arms fall before looking back up at Derek, "I'm just tired." He took her arm and led her over to the bed, sitting them both down at the edge. "I'm tired of everyone acting like I'm some kind of low class slut."

"Would you prefer to be a high class slut?" Derek asked, receiving a deserved punch in the arm.

"I just don't enjoy being talked about," she admitted, making sure not to make eye contact as she covered her face in her hands.

Derek watched her, taking note that she was forcing herself to look the other way. "They were talking about me too."

Her hands fell from her face and she looked over at Derek, "She thinks I paid you."

Derek chuckled a little at the way she had deadpanned that statement and at the absurdness of it, "Andhat is why I never slept with any of them."

"You just like the sex," Meredith answered.

"No, I love the sex," he said as he inched closer to her. She could feel his breath on her as he whispered his next line, "But there's something about you as well."

She tried to act as though he had no affect on her, but she couldn't help it. Her smile betrayed her. "I'm not so sure of that," she said, continuing the pointless conversation they had going.

"Not many men would sit with a drunk girl at a bar for a few hours just for one night of sex," he answered.

"Yes, actually, they would," Meredith said, thinking back to her many nights at different bars, "You'd be surprised."

"Well, trust me. This guy, he wouldn't sit around for just any girl. As a matter of fact, I think he's only done it for _one_ girl."

**When the name-calling starts to get to you, your Mom will tell you just to ignore them. Or the old rhyme "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," comes to mind. But the honest truth is, you can't ignore it and words do hurt. They hurt like hell. The important thing to remember is that all the name-calling really isn't the important thing in life. No matter what names you are called during the day, as long as you find exactly where you are supposed to be by night, then everything is going to work out just fine.**


	6. Chapter 6: This Everyday Love

Chapter 6:_ This Everyday Love  
_Part 1:_ Just another normal thing I've come to expect_

**The human mind changes quickly, in more sense then one. If you have a brain tumor, within a week or so, your brain could look completely different. The emotions going through your mind change quickly as well. One day, you are focused on your job, you're life and every decision you make revolve around it. But before you know it, things are being thrown into the mix of your life and you have to juggle it all. Soon things start to get distorted and things aren't so clear anymore. Things start to get blurry and different things begin to weigh in when making decisions. But how do you deal with it all?**

"Hey, Mer? Where were you last night?" Cristina asked as she walked into the locker room, "We all were supposed to be meeting at Joe's."

"Oh," Meredith said, just then remembering, "Sorry, I completely forgot."

"Where were you?" Izzie asked, jumping into the conversation.

Meredith's eyes darted through her locker, looking for some type of response, "Tired. The gossip and everything just got to me."

"Some ditzy blonde interns and nurses got to you? Meredith Grey?" Cristina asked doubtfully, "You're going soft."

"I am not," Meredith said lazily as she pulled her scrub top on, "I already told you. It's just different. This is the real world."

"Yang, Grey, Stevens! Let's go!" Bailey yelled into the locker room. They all hurried out of the locker room.

As they caught up with Bailey and the rest of the interns, Cristina pulled Meredith off to the side. "Okay, now that Barbie is gone, where were you really last night?"

"Home," Meredith whispered, not wanting to anger Bailey.

Cristina didn't say anything at first, she just followed the group down the hall. Then she stopped and pulled Meredith over to her again, "You took him home again, didn't you?"

"Yang! Since you feel like gossiping today, why don't you go down to the pit and fraternize with the rest of the lazy-ass interns?" Bailey said, making it very clear that there wasn't a choice in that question.

Meredith just eyed Cristina before receiving her own assignment and heading in the opposite way.

* * *

Chapter 6: _This Everyday Love  
_Part 2: _It's ordinary plain and simple_

"Dr. Shepherd," Burke said with a nod as he walked past the OR board, seeing Derek there.

"Good morning, Dr. Burke," Derek said in response.

Burke stopped and looked over at the board, "What's making you so cheerful this morning?"

"Surgery," Derek answered, "Not overly busy, but still two craniotomies scheduled for today."

"Surgery does make surgeons happy, doesn't it?" Burke commented with a knowing glance thrown at Derek.

"It sure does," Derek said with a small chuckle before heading down the hall towards his office.

* * *

Chapter 6:_ This Everyday Love  
_Part 3: _Oh, but I can't get enough_

"Hello, Dr. Grey," Derek said as he walked up behind Meredith.

"Dr. Shepherd," she answered without looking back, trying her hardest to hold in the smile that was fighting to be seen.

"No jumping or screaming or coffee spilling?" he mused before placing a cup of steaming coffee next to her.

"I've gotten used to you sneaking up on me," she said as she turned around to face him, holding the coffee in her hand.

"I don't sneak," he answered defensively.

"You enjoy sneaking very much," she said before turning her back to gather a few charts, "Me on the other hand? I hate sneaking. I always get caught."

"You know you like the sneaking," he teased as he placed his hand on her arm, just enough to stop her from walking away. She turned back and smiled at him.

"What are you doing?!" an angry voice rang out, interrupting their moment.

Meredith and Derek both whipped their heads around to see Dr. Bailey; a very angry Dr. Bailey.

She stared at them for a moment in silence until Meredith shook Derek's arm off of her and move a few feet away.

"What are you doing?" she repeated, her eyes still glaring at the both of them.

"I… I… ummm," Meredith stuttered for a moment, trying to come up with something. She averted her eyes from Bailey's but she could feel the critical resident eyeing her down.

"I was about to give her a case," Derek intercepted.

"A case?" two voices asked; one surprised, the other doubtful.

"Yes," Derek answered. He looked over at Meredith, trying to get her to trust him and relax. "Lauren Baker, age 13 with a brain tumor pressing against her occipital lobe. We're scheduled for surgery today. I was going to have Dr. Grey here prep her and scrub in," he explained confidently.

Bailey continued to stare him down, expecting him to break any second, but he didn't. "Well, once you're done with Dr. Shepherd's patient, you can return to your pit assignment," Bailey answered, her attitude apparent to anyone around.

They didn't say anything until Bailey was completely out of eyeshot, despite the fact that she'd gone out of ear shot long before. Suddenly, Derek burst out laughing. Meredith looked at him and glared, "I hate you."

"Hey, I got you a neuro case," he said as he followed her to the neurology wing of the hospital.

"You got me in trouble. _Again._ I told you that I didn't like sneaking. I always get caught. _Always_," she ranted as Derek handed her the chart and pointed out the room. She finally stopped and took a deep breath before she looked up at him and into his eyes.

He just smiled at her with that smile that she'd come to love, "But it's fun, isn't it?"

* * *

Chapter 6: _This Everyday Love  
_Part 4: _Listen to the voice that warms my heart_

"Was that your brother?" Meredith asked as she stepped into the hospital room of one of Derek's other patients for the fifth time that day.

"No," Lauren answered, "My boyfriend."

Meredith smiled as she jotted a few things down in the girl's chart, "That's sweet."

"Yeah," she agreed, "He's really great."

Meredith walked over to Michelle's bed and checked her vitals and a few of the machines other readings. "You feeling okay today?"

"Not worse than usual," she answered.

Meredith gave her a comforting smile, "You have a really high probability of recovery."

"Is Dr. Shepherd good?"

"Yes, he's the best," Meredith answered before jotting a few more things down.

"Can I ask you a question Dr. Grey?"

"Sure."

"Do you know Dr. Shepherd or something?" she asked curiously.

"Of course I do," Meredith answered, "I work with him."

"I only ask because the way you look," Michelle answered.

Meredith closed the chart, "The way I look?"

"It's just that when I mentioned him, you're face lit up."

"Trust me, I just work with him," Meredith said. This was definitely not the conversation she wanted to be having with her patient or anyone for that matter.

"Dr. Grey?"

Meredith turned around and smiled when she saw Derek. Realizing her reaction, she quickly dropped her huge smile, "She looks good, Dr. Shepherd."

"Good," he answered as he walked over to the bed. He shined his pen light into the girl's eyes, checking her reaction. "Suggestions, Dr. Grey?"

"Wait until labs confirm the condition and then proceed with the surgery," she answered.

"Good," Derek said before walking over to the door, "Dr. Grey can I speak to you in private?"

"Sure," Meredith answered uncomfortably until following Derek out into the hallway. "You needed something?"

"What time do you get off tonight?" Derek asked.

"My shift is over at seven, but I can stay later if you need me too," Meredith answered, hoping that she'd get to scrub in on both of the surgeries.

"I hope you'll scrub in on her surgery as well," Derek answered as he gestured to the room they'd just left. "And then I hope you'll join me for a proper date."

"Dr. Shepherd, we're at work. This is inappropriate."

Derek chuckled, "Trust me, much more inappropriate things are going through my head right now."

"Stop imagining me naked," she whispered angrily.

"Well, if you accept then I'm sure I won't have to imagine anymore."

Meredith rolled her eyes, "I'll go out to dinner with you, but I will not have sex with you again."

"You say that now," Derek said before heading down the hallway.

* * *

Chapter 6: _This Everyday Love  
_Part 5: _I drag myself through a few more hours_

"Grey?" Meredith looked up from her charts and saw Dr. Bailey standing across the hall. "Can I speak with you for a moment?"

Meredith looked down at her charts and closed them quickly before turning back to Dr. Bailey. She walked over to her and was led into a more secluded hallway. "Yes?"

"What is going on between you and Dr. Shepherd?" Dr. Bailey asked directly.

Meredith's eyes widened. "Nothing," she answered as she shook her head.

"Grey, you're a bad liar," Dr. Bailey answered disapprovingly.

"There really isn't anything," Meredith answered quickly.

"You better hope not," Dr. Bailey said, "Because we have rules. Rules aren't broken here. If you do happen to break a rule, you will suffer the consequences for a very long time. Do you understand me?"

"Yes," Meredith answered before Dr. Bailey turned to walk away in a huff. Meredith sighed in relief as Bailey walked away before getting back to her charts.

She finished off Lauren's before noticing a coffee being placed next to her. She looked up, "You tend to show up at all the wrong times," she said, "And you aren't helping my caffeine addiction."

"Medicine would be nowhere without coffee and I have impeccable timing," he gloated with a small laugh.

"I just got yelled at by Bailey," she pointed out.

"Well what'd you do?"

She glared it him, both of them knowing why Bailey was upset. "I didn't do anything. It's the brain surgeons around here that are completely brainless."

He smiled at her and she just rolled her eyes at him, turning to walk away, "What? Does this mean you're standing me up tonight?"

She looked back at him with a smirk on her face, "Maybe."

* * *

Chapter 6: _This Everyday Love  
_Part 6: _Can't get enough_

"Why are you putting make-up on? You never wear make-up," Cristina said as she pulled her shirt on in the locker room.

Meredith finished applying a small amount of mascara before looking back at Cristina, "I have a date tonight."

"A date?" Izzie teased, peaked with interest.

"Yes, a date," Meredith answered as she dropped her make-up into her purse. She looked up and saw Cristina with a smirk on her face. "What?"

"You're falling for this guy aren't you?"

Meredith rolled her eyes as she shut her locker door, "It's our first date. I'm not falling for him."

"Your first date that is happening after a few nights of sex," Cristina joked.

"It was only twice. Not a few. A few implies that it happened three times. It only happened twice," Meredith rambled on as she looked at herself one more time in the mirror.

"You're awfully self-conscious about yourself right now for you to not care about him," Cristina teased one more time before walking out of the locker room, Izzie following quickly behind.

Meredith took a deep breath and relaxed. She didn't know why she was uptight about this. After all, it really was just a first date. She'd had those plenty of times. There aren't any attachments with first dates. If he's a freak or something, she can just pretend like it never happened. It was that simple.

She grabbed her purse, slightly reassured of herself, and walked out of the locker room. She headed out into the lobby and waited for him. She looked around for a while, but she didn't see him anywhere. She walked over to the nurse's station, but was informed that they hadn't seen him. They offered to page him, but she politely declined.

She took a seat and waited another fifteen minutes before she got up. Apparently she really shouldn't have been nervous at all. There was nothing to be nervous about. He didn't show. She took one more look at the elevators as they emptied their occupants. Realizing that she'd been fooled, she sighed and stepped out into the chilly night.

She stuffed her hands into her jacket's pockets and pulled it tightly around her body as the wind blew. The doors behind her open and closed mindlessly, as she slowly made her way across the cement walkway to the parking lot.

She heard steps behind her, but she kept walking, her boots clicking against the ground. She reached the end of the walkway and took a step onto the pavement before she felt something on her shoulder.

She turned around and saw Derek. He was completely out of breath and obviously cold. "Meredith, I am so sorry," he managed to say after he caught his breath, "One of my patients had a grand mal seizure and I got tied up," he explained.

"Bad day?" she asked, his distress obvious in his eyes.

"Only if my being late means we aren't going on our date," he said, his smile returning to his face.

"I don't really date guys that stand me up," she answered before she turned around and started walking across the parking lot.

She stopped and looked back at Derek, noticing that he hadn't moved. She smiled at him, "Are you coming or what?"

Derek's face lit up as he hurried across the parking lot. She reached out for his hand and he gladly took it, holding her close to his own body. They walked hand-in-hand to Derek's car in silence, their minds holding their own soundtrack.

**Lines do get blurry, but that's part of life. You have to deal with it. You're forced to make decisions without much to back them on. Those are the decisions that change your life. It may not be apparent now, but the choices and decisions you make today will have a huge affect on you. Nothing in your life will be the same again.**


End file.
